Wrong to Need You Read online

Jackson shook his head and shifted on the couch. Oh so casually, Kareem scooted, so he leaned against his side, and Jackson froze.

  It wasn’t a hug, but it was more contact than he’d had with the kid. Slowly, fearing the boy might move away, he rested his arm over Kareem’s shoulder and cupped his head. His hand was almost as big as his whole head. So fragile.

  To be solely responsible for one easily hurt human was no laughing matter. What kind of pressure must Sadia constantly be under?

  They’d gotten about halfway through the movie when the front door opened, and Kareem sat up. “Who is it?” he called out, before Jackson could.

  A pretty, stylish young woman appeared in the living room archway, and her expression went from pleasant to stunned.

  Ah hell. She was older now, but this was very obviously one of Sadia’s younger sisters.

  “Auntie Jia!” Kareem squealed, answering which twin this was, and launched himself off the couch. Jackson paused the movie and rose to his feet. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

  Jia caught the boy and hugged him close, then put him down. “Sorry, kiddo, I’ve been busy all week. I see I’ve missed some stuff.” Her gaze was fixed on him, eyes wide. “Jackson?”

  Jackson nodded. “Hello, Jia. You’re looking well.”

  “Thanks. Uh, you too. I didn’t know you were in town . . . ?”

  “I’m here for a short visit.” He had no idea what Sadia had told her family about him. Nothing, he assumed, if Jia didn’t know he was here. Better to downplay things.

  “Cool. I haven’t seen you since I was like fourteen, I think.”

  When she was fourteen, he’d been thrown in jail. He could read her curiosity and speculation. “Yes, it’s been a while.”

  “Well, I actually came over to see Sadia. She wasn’t answering her texts and I wanted to make sure she got some help for her flat.”

  Kareem tilted his head back to look at her. “Uncle Jackson helped change the tire. The things were too tight for Mom.”

  Jia tugged on his hair with easy affection. Clearly she and her nephew were comfortable with each other in a way he was not. “That happens sometimes, even for wondermoms. Where is she?”

  “Sadia’s not feeling well. She’s resting in her room. I was watching Kareem until she was better.”

  “We made cookies but Jackson said I could only eat one when they were warm.”

  “Cookies! How cool.” Jia smiled. “I can watch Kareem for the rest of the night, if you’d like.”

  He wanted to say no, that he was enjoying sitting with Kareem, but that would have been more words than he could string together.

  Besides, this girl surely had more rights to their mutual nephew than he did. “Very well.”

  Kareem surprised him with a hug when he passed him, and Jackson awkwardly patted his back, trying his best to temper his strength.

  The boy rubbed his face on Jackson’s shirt. “Thanks for cookies.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Jackson stopped right outside the front door and examined the chocolate stain on his shirt.

  He couldn’t contain his smile.

  Chapter 11

  Sadia woke in a panic, grabbing at her phone next to her, only there was no phone there. She sat up and looked around, confused. The room was gloomy, and she checked the time, stunned when she realized it was almost ten p.m.

  The events of the afternoon came back to her and she scurried off the bed. Kareem. It was well past his bedtime. Had he been with Jackson all day? The boy didn’t even really know his uncle well.

  What kind of mother falls asleep and leaves her baby alone with a relative he barely knows?

  She came out of her room to a soundless house. She crept through the hallway to Kareem’s room and opened it a crack, giving a small sigh of relief when she spotted Kareem snug under the covers. She tiptoed closer. He was bathed and in his pajamas, his hair gleaming.

  Okay. One worry down. She looked out the window toward the garage apartment. The lights were off in there, which meant Jackson was asleep, out, or in her home.

  She slipped downstairs, the light coming from the living room guiding her. The person sitting on the couch was not who she expected it to be.

  Her stomach lurched. In relief, not disappointment. Or so she told herself. “Jia, what are you doing here?”

  Jia put down the cookie she was eating and brushed crumbs off her bright green sweater. The color made her light brown eyes pop. “Hanging out. I heard you were sick.”

  This time the emotion she felt was definitely relief. Jackson hadn’t revealed her panic attack. “Yes. The medicine I took was a bit strong.”

  Jia’s face was sympathetic. “Headaches?”

  “Sure. Yes.” Sadia came to sit on top of the wooden chest that doubled as her coffee table. “Did you put Kareem to bed?”

  “Yup.”

  “Thank you.”

  “No problem. He must have had an exciting day. He was pooped.”

  “It was exciting all right.”

  “I was worried when you didn’t answer your phone after you texted us.”

  “Yeah.” Sadia looked around. “I’m not even sure where my phone is.”

  “I put it on the kitchen counter, along with your purse.”

  “Thanks.”

  “So, like . . . I see why you haven’t needed much help with Kareem this week.” Jia tilted her head at the garage. “You got an old friend here.”

  Sadia’s fingers curled. “Jackson’s here temporarily. A few weeks.”

  “Kareem says he’s working at the café too.”

  “It’s not a big deal.”

  “Uh . . . okay. But I have so many questions. One, was he always super cute? Two, did he really not set that fire? Three, on a scale of one to ten, one being pretty cute and ten being a million degrees of cute, how cute do you think he is—”

  “Okay, okay.” Sadia held her hand up and prayed she wasn’t blushing. “One, he’s way too old for you to even be thinking of him like that. Two, yeah.”

  “He’s your age! That’s only six years older than me. That’s not bad. Oh my God, how adorable would it be if we both married brothers—” She winced, obviously recalling what had happened to the elder brother. “I’m sorry. That was me being insensitive, wasn’t it? Ayesha would smack me.”

  “It’s fine.”

  Jia recovered. “Is he here to visit Tani, like Livvy was?”

  “Not important.” Sadia waved that aside. “Don’t worry about the Kane family drama.”

  “But it’s so interesting. We’re positively boring compared to them. You married into, like, that family from Dynasty.”

  “How do you even know about Dynasty?”

  “Reruns. Remakes. Rinse and repeat.”

  Sadia leaned back. “Listen, speaking of drama, let’s keep this from the rest of the family for a bit, huh?” There was no need to get Noor or her parents worried over what Jackson was doing here. It would bring up bad memories for them. Her parents had been shaken when the Kane scandals had rocked the community.

  What will people think? Her mother had exclaimed when Sadia had told her she wanted to marry Paul. They say his father died while he was having an affair and his own brother was in jail for a felony. That will follow him around for the rest of his life, and your life too.

  It hadn’t, not really. No one who had known Robert Kane believed he and Maria Chandler were in that car to run off together. Paul had never quite shaken all of his bitterness over losing the company, but she’d managed to live and raise her son in the shadow of Chandler’s without constant gossip.

  It had helped that so many people had liked Paul and the Kanes. She couldn’t say the same thing would have happened if Jackson, who hadn’t been quite as popular, had stuck around.

  “Don’t worry,” Jia soothed. “I got my own stuff to worry about when it comes to the fam.”

  “Still thinking about going full-time, huh?” Sadia picked up a cookie from the p
late next to her leg and bit into it, nearly gasping when chocolate and dough exploded on her tongue. “Whoa.”

  “I know, they taste better than the Chandler’s ones. Jackson made them.”

  She finished the cookie in two bites, and went back for a second. They tasted like the Chandler’s signature cookies because they were the signature cookies. Just fresh from the oven. She’d always been bugging Jackson to make these.

  “To answer your question, I’m not just thinking about going full-time. I am going full-time.”

  Sadia tried to eat this cookie a little slower. “Have you considered that maybe you’re making a rash decision?”

  “No. I hate med school. And not in that way that everyone hates grad school. I watch Ayesha and even though it’s hard and teeth-grinding, she finds everything we learn fascinating and exciting. I don’t. I spend almost every class waiting to get home to my equipment or social media.” She placed her hand on her chest, her eyes beseeching. “I’ve tried not to like this so much. I knew Mom and Daddy wouldn’t approve. But I can’t help it.”

  Sadia shifted, unable to resist making the parallels between Jia’s passionate words and her own elopement with Paul so many years ago. Her parents and older sisters wouldn’t have been okay with her getting married at twenty even if Paul had still been the heir to a fortune. She’d loved him so much, though, and when he’d pulled her close and begged her to marry him, telling her she was the only constant, stable thing in his life, what other choice had she had? While things may not have ended perfectly, she wouldn’t change that decision. It had given her a number of happy years, not to mention her son.

  But a livelihood and a marriage were still two different things. “Listen, if you do this, you’re essentially going to be self-employed. I can tell you firsthand, running a business is not easy. It’s sleeplessness and worry and constantly having the buck stop with you.”

  “I know all of that. But the parts you love make up for that, right?”

  Uh, maybe for some people. But Sadia wasn’t about to explain to Jia she hadn’t exactly chosen the business owner life. “Ideally, yes,” she hedged. “But it’s hard.”

  “I know.” Jia bent forward. She rummaged through her bookbag for a minute, and then pulled out a file folder, which she placed on the coffee table. “I don’t have my head in the clouds. Here, I brought this for you to look over.”

  Sadia slid the file closer to her and flipped through the papers inside. There were pages upon pages of spreadsheets, along with letters from various suppliers and sponsorship offers.

  “Those are all my earnings and projections. I have two sponsorship offers on the table that are going to be fairly lucrative, not to mention a licensing deal for an app game that wants to use my name. Right now, if just these things go through, I’ll be grossing a million in a year, InshAllah.”

  Sadia blinked at the numbers. So Jia wasn’t only going to be earning more than her . . . she’d be earning more than any of the sisters. She turned the page, stopping when she noted the letterhead on the crisp white linen paper. She read the short letter, stunned. “Jia . . . you’d be a spokesmodel for this makeup company? On television commercials?”

  “Yes.” Jia nodded, her hands clenched tight. “There’s a reason they sent me their products. None of you understand what I’ve done, how big it’s grown. I love it. I’m proud of it. And I want to make it huge. I’m talking music, modeling, acting, maybe a book deal. A whole media company where I can call the shots.” Her light brown eyes glinted with a fervor Sadia had never seen before. “I have an opportunity now girls like me don’t get, Sadia. I have to take it. Please help me.”

  Sadia smoothed her hand over the paper. She wasn’t unmoved, not in the slightest. She cleared her throat. “Give me some time to look all this over.”

  Jia bobbed her head. “Take it, yes. I can answer any questions you have.”

  “If I agree that this is a good idea . . . what do you need from me?”

  “Ideally?” Jia’s smile was sweet. “I need you in my corner. Talk to Noor and Zara. If all of you are on board, Mom and Daddy will come around.”

  Sadia started laughing before she realized Jia was serious. “Uh. You’ve met our sisters, right?”

  “I know they’re stubborn, but they listen to you.”

  “Jia . . . no one in this family listens to me.”

  Jia leaned forward, her sweet face earnest. “Of course they do. You’re the peacemaker. Like the bridge.”

  If she was a bridge, it was one that needed significant structural improvements.

  “I was hoping to quit school in the next couple weeks, actually.” Jia made a face. “I don’t see the point in taking exams that won’t actually do anything for me.”

  “You want me to get our whole family over to your side in a couple of weeks.”

  Jia bit her lip. “I guess when you put it that way . . .” She looked down at her hands. “I just can’t do this anymore, is all.”

  Sadia flipped through the papers. She had no idea what the right or wrong thing to do was here, but her baby sister was distressed, and she couldn’t stand it. She made a quick decision. “I’ll try to talk to Noor and Zara. I assume Ayesha is on board?”

  “She’s always on my side.”

  No surprise, when the twins were so close. “Okay then. Let’s see what magic we can work.”

  Jia’s lip wobbled. “Thank you. I knew I could count on you.”

  “Don’t count on me yet.” Sadia lifted the folder. “You’ve plotted expenses in here, right? Things like health care?”

  “Of course.”

  “Retirement?” She didn’t have a retirement stash, but that was no reason Jia shouldn’t.

  Some of Jia’s smugness evaporated. “Um, no. I can, though.”

  “Good.” Sadia polished off her cookie. “I require additional cookies.”

  “Those were the last ones.”

  She narrowed her eyes at her sister. “What the hell.”

  “Get your sexy houseguest to make you some more.”

  Sadia opened her mouth, then closed it. Now she knew she was blushing. Damn it all, she should never have had Jackson so close to her in her bed. Her only hope was that she hadn’t said anything too wild to him while she was falling asleep.

  Tomorrow she was working at the bar. She might have to go on the prowl and find someone who could take her mind off Jackson. “Too old for you.”

  “I can look, can’t I?”

  Jia might be able to. She definitely, absolutely, should not.

  That train may have already left, friend.

  Chapter 12

  That train had definitely left.

  Sadia came to this conclusion when Jackson opened the door to his little apartment shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of low-slung gray sweatpants. With the café closed for the day, she’d spent most of her time with half her attention on whether Jackson was in his apartment or not.

  She’d slipped away the second Jia had showed up to watch Kareem for the night. Her sister had leered at her when she said she had to run something over to Jackson. But a leer was entirely appropriate, because Jackson’s chest was like a work of art, his pecs impressive, his stomach ridged with muscle. His nipples were two flat brown discs that made her mouth water.

  He’s Paul’s brother. These are the wrong nipples for you to be intrigued by. Tonight, at the bar, you are going to find someone with nipples you can salivate over guilt-free.

  “Sadia?”

  “You have a lot of tattoos.”

  He glanced at his arm, like that was a perfectly normal thing for her to blurt out. His half-sleeve consisted of thick curving and straight black lines, beautifully arranged in a pattern that embraced his muscles. Green palm fronds melted into the black lines and curled in a circle on his shoulder and chest.

  “Not a lot.” He touched his arm. “I got this one when I visited Maui. My father had a similar one.”

  She raised her eyebrows. In her mem
ory, Robert Kane had always been in a suit, with a briefcase. “He did?”

  “Yes.” Jackson’s eyes warmed. “We barely ever saw it either, but my mom blamed him for Livvy’s interest in the art.”

  “Ah.”

  He widened the door. “Do you want to come in?”

  So she could be in the same room as him with close proximity to a bed and think about their kiss last week? When he was tattooed and shirtless? “No.”

  Maybe that was too emphatic, but Jackson didn’t react. He lifted his hand and braced it against the door frame, right at her eye level. “Is there something you needed?”

  To lick you. “I wanted to thank you for yesterday. Your help,” she said in a rush.

  He only shrugged. “It was no big deal.”

  “It was.” She struggled to speak. “The panic attack. How did you know what to do?”

  “I didn’t, really. But I had a sous-chef who had social anxiety, and I had to talk him through a couple of attacks. He had meds he took.”

  “I probably should, but I usually can’t be incapacitated like that.”

  “Must be really hard. To be a single parent.”

  “I had anxiety before I became a single parent,” she confessed, like it was a dark secret.

  “Yeah, but adding all that stress can’t make it much better.” He glanced over her shoulder, toward the house. “And you’re so good at it. Perfect.”

  Ha, what? She was the furthest thing from perfect.

  “Sorry if I’m saying the wrong thing. Livvy said sometimes when I tried to comfort her, I made it worse. I’m just trying to tell you you’re doing a really good job, even with everything going on.”

  Her heart softened again. “Thanks. No. You’re fine.”

  “We never got to have dinner yesterday.”

  She fiddled with her earring, as flustered as a young girl out on a date. Surely there was nothing flirtatious in his words.

  Whatever remaining anger she’d felt toward him had softened with his assistance yesterday. She was truly ready to try to be friends for as long as he was here. A friend who didn’t lust after him, that is. “We’ll do it some time this week. You can take a night off from cooking, we’ll order out. Kareem would like to see you again. He can’t stop talking about you now.” From the minute he’d gotten home from school, it had been nonstop. Including when she’d taken him to visit Tani and Maile. “Maile says she saw you yesterday. So double thanks for helping me when you were dealing with your own shit.”